A Superb Halftime

Before moving ahead with today's post, I need to tell you all about The Great Super Bowl Blackout of 2020.  I went to my sister's house to watch the game and everything started off normal...then the power went out five minutes into the game!  And this was no glitch.  It was a legit power outage that knocked out the entire block!  So, my brother-in-law and I ended up huddling around his phone and watched the game that way...until the power came back on just after the two-minute warning!

At halftime, I ceded my seat on the couch to my sister, who wanted to watch J Lo and Shakira.  Fortunately I also DVRed the game and was able to watch the halftime show in all its HD glory when I got home.  And all I have to say is "Wow!"  J Lo is 50 and Shakira is 42!  Let that sink in for a second!

That halftime show was right up there among the best in Super Bowl history.  I understand that ranking something as "THE Best" ever is a completely subjective exercise, but it was a pretty common consensus that this one was at or near the top of the list.  In fact, I've got it ranked at No. 4.  I think you can all see where this is going...

My list of the Top 10 Super Bowl Halftime Shows starts at Super Bowl XXVII, when the modern age of music superstars headlining began.  That's the year the NFL got Michael Jackson in response to FOX's effective counterprogramming with a live episode of In Living Color (starring none other than Jennifer Lopez) the year before.  Since then, they've made a concerted effort to make people actually WATCH halftime.  Thus the big-name music stars.

But some of those performances have definitely been better than others.  Here, in my opinion are the five worst (This list also starts at Super Bowl XXVII, so Up With People and all those ridiculous themes in the late 80s are off the hook):

• Coldplay (50): Not the right type of band for the Super Bowl, especially such a historic one
• Maroon 5 (53): J Lo and Shakira certainly made up for that hot mess last year.  Question: Does Adam Levine own any shirts?
• Patti LaBelle (29): It was only two years after Michael, so they hadn't quite figured out the whole "headliner" thing yet
• The Blues Brothers (31): Did a Blues Brothers movie come out in 1996-97?  That's the only reason I can think of why Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Jim Belushi were considered a "musical act"
• Janet Jackson (38): I'm not saying it was "bad" per se, but it was certainly controversial, thus it has to rank towards the bottom.  Fun fact: Nipplegate is what inspired the founders of YouTube to create a video-sharing website.

Now on to the best.  These are in rank order, so there's obviously going to be a lot of disagreement with my rankings.  And, truth be told, my level of enjoyment of Super Bowl halftime shows generally correlates to how much I like the artist.  So, with that, on to the rankings...

10. Michael Jackson (27): How could the Halftime Show that started it all NOT be on the list?  The NFL knew they had to do something big, and they got the biggest star in music.  Super Bowl halftime would never be the same.  And Michael's performance was more entertaining than the game itself--the Cowboys' 52-17 rout of the Bills.

9. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers (42): Super Bowl XLII will always be remembered for David Tyree's "Helmet Catch" and the Giants' historic upset of the Patriots.  Since the Giants were playing, I was significantly more excited about the game than the halftime show.  Then Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers took the stage and absolutely killed it!  Of course, it was still just the second-best part of that memorable night.

8. Paul McCartney (39): After Janet Jackson and her boob the year before, the NFL played it safe with Paul McCartney.  And, in true Paul McCartney fashion, he showed up!  He did some solo stuff, some Beatles, and the "Hey Jude" finale was simply amazing!

7. Justin Timberlake (52): In a year with that ridiculous "controversy" where people wanted all of their favorite performers to boycott the halftime show because of the NFL's treatment of Colin Kaepernick, they still managed to land Justin Timberlake!  It wasn't his first time doing halftime (he's the one who ripped off Janet Jackson's corset, after all), but it was by far the best.  Some people didn't like it, but I thought it was great.

6. Katy Perry (49): "Left Shark" may have gone viral after the game, but this is widely considered one of the best Super Bowl halftime shows ever.  It was also the most-watched, attracting 120 million viewers worldwide (more than the game itself).  They saw an awesome show, too.  Katy was on fire!  And so were her guest performers Lenny Kravitz and Missy Elliott.

5. Bruno Mars (48): Want to know how terrible Coldplay's halftime show was?  They brought back Bruno Mars as basically a co-headliner just two years after he crushed it at Met Life Stadium!  I know a lot of people rate this one right at the top, while others didn't like it at all.  Bruno Mars is ridiculously talented, though.  There's no question about that.  Points deducted for the guest appearance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who were totally unnecessary and seemed like they didn't even care.

4. Jennifer Lopez & Shakira (54): Call it recency bias if you want, but I thought this year's halftime show ranks right near the top.  I love both of them and know a lot of their songs, so that definitely helped.  But J Lo and Shakira both showed why they're global superstars.  They brought it from the first moment and didn't stop for the entire 15 minutes!  And the fact that they're both ridiculously hot certainly helped, too.

3. Lady Gaga (51): Gaga's ridiculously amazing national anthem the year before (which made the fact that Coldplay was the halftime act even worse) inspired the NFL to bring her back as the headliner for the halftime show.  Needless to say, it was a good call!  It was just like an actual Lady Gaga concert, and she managed to cram all of her biggest hits into 14 minutes.  Plus, that opening!

2. U2 (36): One of the most beautiful moments in Super Bowl history was U2's somber tribute to the victims of 9/11.  It was exactly what America needed just four months after that unspeakable tragedy.  No one was in the mood for them to overdo it, which made U2 the perfect choice.  And the scrolling of the names while the band played "Where the Streets Have No Name" was enough to make anybody cry!

1. Prince (41): If you think U2 was the greatest Super Bowl halftime show in history, I'm not going to disagree with you.  But my all-time favorite is Prince, and it'll take an awful lot to move that performance from the top spot.  Prince always brought it in live shows (have you seen the video of him at the SNL 40th Anniversary after party?!).  This performance was no exception.  And can there be anything more iconic than Prince singing "Purple Rain" during an actual pouring rain?!