Let's Get These Sports Stars Dancing

Yes it is too soon for Ryan Lochte to be on Dancing With the Stars.  They evidently had him locked in as a participant for this season before his shenanigans in Rio, but they easily could've told him "No Thanks" afterwards.  Yet they decided not to, arguing instead that he deserves a chance to rehabilitate his reputation.

Lochte won't be the only athlete on this season's Dancing With the Stars cast.  He'll be joined by Final Five gymnast Laurie Hernandez, Indy Car driver James Hinchcliffe and, since it's a rule that they must have at least one football player on the cast each season, Megatron.  They're just the latest in a long line of sports stars that have appeared on Dancing With the Stars since the beginning.  And, for the most part, they've done pretty well.  Eight have won and a handful have finished second (Shawn Johnson has done both).

Where am I going with all of this?  No, I don't watch Dancing With the Stars.  But there's no denying that they lean on the world of sports.  In fact, I'd love to see an entire season of sports personalities.  I'm not suggesting they do a season of returning sports personalities who've previously been contestants, either (although that would be fun).  No.  I want all sports people, all of whom are new to the show.  Now that's a season I'd watch.

For some reason they alternate between 12 and 13 celebrities, so, for the sake of keeping the number of men an women balanced, I'll do 12:

Kerri Walsh Jennings: Misty May-Treanor suffered perhaps the most famous injury in Dancing With the Stars history when she tore her Achilles during practice for one of the dances.  Well, now it's time for the other half of Kerri and Misty to give the dancing a go.  She's actually going to retire now, right?

Missy Franklin: Other than Ryan Lochte, name one U.S. swimmer who needs a bounce back more than Missy Franklin.  She was such a huge star in London, only to see that shining light flicker out in Rio.  Dancing With the Stars would be the perfect opportunity to reenter the limelight.

Abbey D'Agostino: If Missy Franklin were to using Dancing With the Stars to rebound from her Olympic disappointment, it would be exactly the opposite for Abbey D'Agostino.  She's America's darling right now after her incredible act of sportsmanship heard around the world.  Sure, the torn ACL is a problem, but it would still be a great way to extend her 15 minutes.

McKayla Maroney: Who better to be the next dancing gymnast?  She's not impressed with anybody else, but I bet the judges would be impressed with her.  Yes, post-London really would've been a better time for her, but Aly Raisman's already been on, so they only have three of the Rio team left.

Miesha Tate: She hasn't announced anything about her future career plans yet, but it's fairly obvious Kayla Harrison is going to join MMA.  If she doesn't, she's an idiot.  Anyway, I digress.  Miesha Tate already is an MMA star.  And I actually think she'd do pretty well if she ever did Dancing With the Stars.

Lindsey Vonn: Lindsey Vonn is everywhere.  Seriously, what hasn't she been on?  Surprisingly, Dancing With the Stars.  With our Olympic focus shifting back to skiers and skaters, it seems like a great time to start seeing a lot of Lindsey Vonn once again.

Colin Kaepernick: Talk about athletes who need to reshape their image.  Kaepernick would also get the football player requirement out of the way (although there are plenty of candidates, and I'm sure Tim Tebow would be as amazing at dancing as he is at everything else).  As long as the national anthem isn't one of the songs...

Tony Stewart: He's gonna have a lot of time on his hands coming up.  He also seems like the type of guy who would do it.  I wouldn't be surprised to see Tony Stewart actually appear on Dancing With the Stars in the near future.

Alex Rodriguez: Baseball season is so long that they're never able to have an active baseball player on the show.  Well, A-Rod isn't an active baseball player anymore.  And don't tell me you wouldn't tune in just to watch him.

George Foreman: Don't tell me this wouldn't be amazing.  Because you know it would be.  The boxer seems to be just as frequent as the football player, yet somehow George Foreman has never been on Dancing With the Stars.  (In the same vein, how has Regis Philbin never been on Dancing With the Stars, either?)

Cristiano Ronaldo: Well, they might as well cancel the season if Cristiano Ronaldo participates.  Because God's gift to the world is the greatest at everything he does.  He would automatically win, right?  (I think the reason he's smiling in the picture is because he can see his likeness in the trophy.)

Andy Roddick: I'm actually kinda surprised Andy Roddick has never been on this show.  Believe it or not, it's been four years since he retired.  It really seems like they've missed the boat on this one.  Because Andy Roddick would be perfect.