Thursday, December 17, 2015

Blinding America One Thursday Night at a Time

I'm not sure what the NFL's ultimate goal in this "Color Rush" thing they're doing on Thursday nights was, but they've certainly got people talking.  I'll give them that.  Of course, I haven't heard a single person actually come out and say they like this whole monocrome vs. monochrome thing they've developed, but why should that matter?  There's no such thing as bad publicity.  Right?

They've been doing this for several weeks now, with plans to expand it to every Thursday night next season.  (I don't know about you, but I'm sure looking forward to that game where the Raiders are in all black and the Broncos are in all orange.)  Problem is, like the NBA's sleeved Christmas jerseys that looked like pajama tops, there isn't a single person who thinks they look good.  Bud Commissioner Baddell doesn't want to admit he's wrong, so we keep having to endure this week after week.

When they said they were going to do this, I thought to myself, "OK, this could be pretty cool."  Of course, I thought that meant that if the Giants were playing the Redskins, the Giants would wear their blue jerseys and the Redskins would wear their red ones.  The rationale makes sense.  All games are in color, so you don't need the light-dark contrast.  But I had no idea what they actually had in store.  I don't think anyone did.

It all started with the Bills-Jets game a few weeks ago, when Buffalo wore all red and the Jets wore all green (which was actually the most tame of anything we've seen so far).  Then there was the Jaguars in all gold and the Titans in light blue, which was pretty close to their actual uniform.  We weren't subjected to it on Thanksgiving night (probably because the Packers said there was no way in Hell they were going to wear all green).  Instead, we got the all-white Dallas Cowboys against the all-electric blue (I think that's the name of the color) Carolina Panthers.  Now we've got ketchup vs. mustard, as the Bucs play the Rams.

Meanwhile, since the NFL put in a rule change a couple seasons ago saying teams have to wear the same helmets all season (preventing the awesome throwback unis where the Bucs bring back Buccaneer Bruce and the Patriots bring back Pat the Patriot), the helmets don't really match.  (It's kinda like the Pro Bowl.)  Every team that's been involved in this "Color Rush" thing has had their helmet be a different color than their uniform, which kind of defeats the purpose if you ask me.

Fortunately, Bowling Green hasn't had a Thursday night game, during which I'm sure we would've seen an all brown getup.  (Seriously, I have to wonder if these teams are actually conducting focus groups when they decide to change their uniforms.  They can't be.  If they did, somebody would actually tell them how terrible their new uniforms are.  From Jacksonville's two-toned helmets to Seattle's giant numbers to Cleveland's I-don't-know-what, every uniform redesign in recent years has been worse than the last.)

The complaints about the uniforms were immediate.  For starters, no one expected them to be quite so bright!  The NFL is trying to blind America one game at a time!  It reminds me of the Final Four game between Syracuse and Michigan a couple years ago where everyone had to adjust the brightness on their TV screens.  But the more immediate problem with Bills-Jets was that eight percent of the population couldn't tell the teams apart!

But does the NFL do anything about that?  Of course not!  Just like the NBA didn't care that the players hated the sleeved jerseys.  I do give them credit for sticking with the experiment instead of just scrapping it when they got some criticism.  But that criticism hasn't subsided and it doesn't seem like it ever will.  This wasn't a bad idea.  It was just an incredibly flawed execution of it.

Of course, we all know the reason for all of this: Marketing.  The NFL owns the quarter of America that Apple, Nike and ESPN don't.  And this was a chance to suck more money out of the American public.  More apparel to sell!  Because who can call their wardrobe complete without a gold Jacksonville Jaguars jersey?!  (If you actually want one of those, I can't help you.)

That's the exact same reason why the NBA has its special Christmas jerseys every year and why MLB keeps making those special hats for the All-Star Game that get worse each time.  And it works.  People buy this stuff, no matter how ugly it is.  As a result, we're stuck in this unfortunate cycle until common sense (hopefully) eventually prevails.

Was it worth a shot?  Yeah, it was.  Why not try out something different on Thursday nights, which is still a new thing for football fans, and see if it sticks?  Except it didn't.  For the most part, the "Color Rush" has been a disaster.  Let it play out the season, then quietly put it to sleep.  Like the NBA did with the sleeves.

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