Steelers linebacker James Harrison caused a bit of a stir on social media when he posted a picture of his kids' participation trophies on his Instagram account and said he was sending them back. This, of course, drew the inevitable mixed reaction. Some people were outraged that he would do such a thing. But, for the most part, people tended to agree with Harrison and show their support.
The participation trophy is unique to American youth sports, and it has a long history. They're designed to make the kids feel good. A "reward" for good effort. Not everyone can be the MVP, but even the worst player on the team is just as important. The important part is just to do your best. At least that's the rationale behind the existence of the participation trophy.
But the problem with them is that you don't need to do anything to get one. You don't even need to be good. All you need to do is show up. So what exactly did you do to "earn" it? The heart is obviously in the right place. Youth sports aren't about winning and losing. They're about having fun, making friends and learning things like teamwork. But at what point does it become about winning and losing?
I'm not a parent and I respect the parenting styles of those who don't share my opinion, but I definitely agree with James Harrison on this one. The participation trophy sends the wrong message and devalues other awards. Imagine being on a youth sports team and being named MVP...and you get the same trophy as the last kid on the bench. Winning the MVP is obviously an achievement. But how is a 9-year-old supposed to know that? All he sees is everybody getting the same thing.
Harrison himself might've said it best. This is what he wrote on Instagram underneath the picture: "I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do, and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I'm sorry I'm not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best...cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy."
His point is exactly right. As you grow up, you don't automatically get an award for trying. You have to work for it. Sometimes you're going to try your best and somebody else's best will be better. And if that happens, they deserve to get a trophy over you. Just like if you do better than them, you wouldn't want them getting the same award you got. Learning how to lose graciously is part of life, too. So is dealing with disappointment. Participation trophies don't do that. They send the wrong message by telling everyone they're good enough.
I don't remember the age at which I stopped receiving participation trophies, but I do know I definitely got some throughout my Little League baseball and basketball careers (and I wasn't good at either sport). I don't remember how I felt when I got those meaningless trophies, either. At the time, I probably thought it was so cool that I got a trophy.
But now that I'm an adult and work in sports, I know what it takes to actually "win" a trophy. I see it everyday. And the thrill of winning a championship is something that can't be described. You were the best. The trophy or ring or banner is tangible proof of that. I've been involved with championship teams, but I've never received a championship ring myself. And I can't wait until I get one!
Second place is often the worst feeling in sports. In team sports at the Olympics, the silver medal goes to the loser of the gold medal game. It's a consolation prize that no one wants. And it's motivation. That silver medal is often used as fuel to go out, work hard, and move up to the gold the next time. How many of those athlete features does NBC run during each Olympics where that's the exact storyline?
There's an episode of the sitcom Yes, Dear where this debate is the whole plot. A kid gets a trophy for finishing last in the school Olympics and his dad, not knowing the kid is standing behind him, makes fun of the trophy. "Outstanding? Yeah, he was out standing there as the fast kids went by." The next week, the kid finishes third and gets another trophy. After he brings it home, he tells his dad that he heard him and he was right. He wanted to win a trophy that he earned.
That's the entire point. Participation trophies aren't a bad thing. They're completely well-intentioned. But they're also counterproductive. There's a big difference between getting a trophy just because and getting a trophy because you won something. Want proof? Look at the winning team during a trophy presentation. Then look at the losing team.
No comments:
Post a Comment