I Love the '80s

Once again, the inspiration for today's blog comes from pop culture.  August 1, 1981 was a historic day.  It marked the debut of MTV.  Interestingly enough, there were no professional major league sports played in North America on that day.  It was the day after the 50-day MLB players' strike ended, although the season wouldn't resume until the All-Star Game on August 9.

In honor of today's anniversary, I sought out some help from my Facebook friends for suggestions on '80s-related topics.  For the most part, those suggestions sucked, although Pat White, my sister's mother-in-law, gave me a good one.  She reminded me of New York's incredible 1986 season.  The Mets won 108 games and the World Series, while the best Giants team in franchise history won Super Bowl XXI.  That made me realize the incredibly awesome coincidence that this is the 25th anniversary of Super Bowl XXI and the 21st anniversary of Super Bowl XXV.  This is the only time that'll ever happen.  But I was looking for more of an "I Love the '80s"-type inspiration, and in this area, everyone failed miserably.

So I'm left looking back to the '80s on my own.  First off, I'd like to state for the record that I'm eight and a half months younger than MTV, so my recollection of 1981 is nonexistent.  Anyway, things were definitely different back then.  Baseball only had 26 teams, two of which were in Canada, football had 28, hockey had 21 (16 of which made the playoffs), and the expansion Dallas Mavericks gave the NBA 23.  March wasn't madness.  The Tournament didn't have 64 teams and the games weren't even shown live.  The U.S. was fresh off not going to the 1980 Olympics in Moscow and hadn't qualified for the World Cup in 30 years (and wouldn't for another 10).  Phoenix had a grand total of one team.  So did Miami.  There was a football team in Los Angeles, a baseball team in Montreal and a basketball team in Kansas City.  Meanwhile, Atlanta's hockey team had just packed up and moved to Canada (wait, that sounds familiar).

According to Lonny in "Rock of Ages," it was a "groovier" time.  It was also a simpler time.  I'm guessing Boston fans were a lot less annoying back then.  The Celtics won the NBA title as usual, but the Bruins sucked, the Patriots were irrelevant and the Red Sux were still cursed.  Chicago, meanwhile, hadn't won a damn thing since 1963 and still wouldn't until the '85 Bears.  Although, things must've been a little strange here in New York, too.  The Islanders were not only relevant, they were good.  In fact, they were in the middle of a run of four straight Stanley Cups.

There were no 24-hour regional sports networks (ESPN was just a baby itself), and there was no FOX.  But there was "Wide World of Sports."  Cookie-cutter stadiums were still cool and games were actually still played on AstroTurf.  Some World Series games took place in the afternoon (although, as cool as it would be, there's no way that would possibly work today) and, most importantly, a number of teams (across the board) wore those awesomely ugly "What were they thinking?" uniforms that have either become more awesome (basically any powder blue baseball uniform) or more ridiculous with the passage of time.  All while the Yankees, Canadiens, Celtics and Bears wore essentially the same thing they wear today.

But the real way that I want to honor MTV on its 30th birthday is to take some classic '80s videos and relate them to the modern sports world:

• "Video Killed the Radio Star," The Buggles-Remember those wonderful days before there were 9000 regional sports networks?  There weren't 9000 annoyingly bad play-by-play guys who think they're the next Vin Scully or Ernie Harwell.  There was, however, Vin Scully and Ernie Harwell and Harry Caray calling games on the radio.
• "Take On Me," A-ha-This is what Randy Moss was begging NFL teams to do during the week since the lockout ended.  Since nobody wanted to, he decided to retire.
• "Sledgehammer," Peter Gabriel-A sledgehammer needs to be taken to several sports venues, most notably Tropicana Field (Rays), Nassau Coliseum (Islanders) and Arco Arena (Sacramento Kings).  They also need to stop playing baseball in football stadiums in Miami and Oakland.
• "Here I Go Again," Whitesnake-It's almost football season, which means the never-ending Brett Favre saga has once again begun.  Is he retired or not?  Does anyone care anymore?
• "Wanted Dead or Alive," Bon Jovi-This applies to Congress and its endless pursuit of fruitless criminal cases against Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Lance Armstrong and everyone else who allegedly took steriods.
• "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)," Michael Jackson-Which pretty-boy quarterback do you want to apply this to?  Tom Brady?  Peyton Manning?  Drew Brees?  Aaron Rodgers?
• "Don't Stop Believin'," Journey-NBA fans, don't stop believing that the lockout will be settled in time for there to be a season.  It won't be, but feel free to have hope.  Go for it.
• "The Final Countdown," Europe-Awesome, very '80s song and video.  Here it applies to Frank McCourt's ownership of the Los Angeles Dodgers, which will inevitably end in his forced sale of the team.

Sorry I couldn't think of an appropriate situation to apply to a Madonna song.  I'm sure there are a couple, I just couldn't think of any.  If you think of one, post it as a comment.